Reviewed By
Ryan McDonald

Analysis
Excepting the unseen-by-me remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (a 70s film that really isn't very gory, unlike its reputation suggests) a gory horror film in the new millennium is about as easy to find as Osama Bin Laden or Weapons of Mass Destruction. It's even harder to find one with even a shred of wit or intelligence (Excepting "The Omen" and "Repulsion", most of my favourite horror films tend to have a sense of humour). So forgive me if I overlook this sequel's unoriginality (c'mon, it is a sequel after all. I mean, how many damn "Friday" films are there out there?) somewhat because I kinda liked seeing people being squashed and dismembered for a change in this PG-13-let-the-kids-swear-and-do-drugs-but-no-sex-or-violence era of horror films (and somewhat films in general). It's a shame then that this film features a sloooowwww pace and characters whom you don't give a rat's arse about. However, out of all the teen horror films these days, the original "Final Destination" joined the first two "Scream" films and the underrated "The Faculty" as the best of a decent-at-best bunch. "Final Destination 2" is a peg-and-a-half below those films but you could find worse horror sequels out there ( "Hellraiser: Inferno" ).

First things first...er...no, wait this is the second film. Let's begin at the beginning...of part 2...which is only three-quarters the quality of part 1. Ow...head hurts. The beginning is in fact one area where part 2 improves over the original. The car wreck scene is a well-staged, extremely tense and eventually surprisingly bloody scene. It also shows quite a sense of humour, though less so than the first (there's a priceless bit where a kid is crashing his toy cars into one another. Cute). However, there were two things that bothered me about this scene, and eventually throughout the whole film. The first was a brief booby shot by a passing motorist. Now I
love boobies as much as the next bloke...well, except Elton John perhaps. However, these two lovely boobies are the only ones in the entire film. In fact, they are probably a rarity in most horror films I've seen in the last two or three years. Comedies are getting raunchier and horror films more conservative, it seems. Horror films, as I said seem to have no worries about endless profanity and drugs (to add insult to injury, said naked chick
is flashing the requisite stoner dude) but sexuality in particular is a no-no. What the hell has happened to horror films? Oh how I yearn for the days of "Vampyros Lesbos" or even Wes Craven's sorely underrated "Deadly Friend", wherein the late Anne Ramsey is decapitated by a basketball. They just don't make 'em like they used to, though as I will discuss later, the film does improve upon one area.

Anyway, now for that second gripe, which is more simplistic and much more of a small annoyance- How Many Damn Plugs For iMac Can They Fit Into One Film? Aaarrrgggghhhhh!...er...sorry, time for my medication...oops, nearly set my gun off there...remind me to edit that part later. Serenity Now!

I may as well continue on the negative vibe for a bit and talk about the characters. The characters here are...so...yawn...exciting...and...Zzzzz...keep you interested throughout. Actually, I'm exaggerating a bit, but both A.J. Cook and Michael 'Hey, I Played Jimmy Olson...for a while...' Landes are about as interesting and captivating as a documentary on swallows (is that The African or European swallow?). However, kudos for not forcing a lame romantic subplot on us, because watching these two making goo-goo eyes at one another would be as erotic as seeing Charles and Camilla gettin' jiggy wit' it (Now I've scarred you for life, haven't I?) On the plus side, Tony 'Candyman' Todd reprises his role as the creepy morgue dude who knows an impossible amount of information about Death. Only here he's still only got a walk-on and actually doesn't give out any useful information at all. He certainly is creepy, though, and adds to the film's sense of imminent death and dread, one of its strengths. Then there's Ali Larter, our other acting link to the first film, who actually gives the least invisible performance of her non-existent career, and indeed is better here than in the first one. She's gone all Linda Hamilton in "T-2" on us here, which means she's sweaty and paranoid, but mostly the latter. The rest of the cast, including the token 'Yo, damn. That's wiggidy whack, y'all!' black guy (who has become less of an offensive stereotype than a major annoyance), are all walking corpses at best.

Oh, but what lovely corpses they make! It's true that a lot of these death scenes are variations on the ones from the first film, but there are elaborate differences that are quite good. If you thought that out-of-nowhere bus death could never be topped, there's a terrific crushing death here that may equal it. However, it's not just the gleeful nastiness of it, it's the teasing, we keep thinking it will happen now...then now...the- and it goes on and on until we've given up trying to work out when it will occur and then WHAM! it happens. Sadly, most of the other death set pieces are not quite as entertaining, though there are exceptions here and there.

And then there's the plot. Admittedly, for much of the film it's just a rehash of the first film with fresh faces and variations, and that does hurt the film, as does the slow pace. But then something happens that adds to the story, a really neat twist that maybe you'll predict but I kinda liked it (I'll leave it at that, so as not to spoil it). Another neat twist comes as one of the characters, I won't say who, actually wants to die. Death ain't gonna like that, but I sure did, it's not unheard of, but unusual in a teen-oriented horror flick.

Look, when Ali Larter and an unbilled Tony Todd are the film's best performers, you won't be expecting "Citizen Kane" or more appropriately, "The Omen" (my favourite horror film), but that's as it should be. Have low expectations and maybe a fondness for cheese and you might rather like this film. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go smash some iMacs.

Key Area	Rating (out of 5)	Comment
Action		The car crash is about all, but it's very well done.
Tension		Like the first film, a constant sense of dread, especially in the opening scene.
Violence/ Gore		Dismemberment, a guy gets crushed (woo-hoo!), a brief decapitation (yeah, baby!), and more. Not "The Corpse Grinders" but it'll do.
Bare Flesh		Wow, I saw boobies. Never seen a pair of those before.
Plot		Ironic and twisty at times but a little to derivative and lacking in character development.

Verdict Hooray for screen violence, quite a watchable film overall if you aren't expecting a masterful Dickensian film with a rapier wit.

Movie Pictures (Click picture to enlarge)