HELLBOY (2004)

In what must be the barmiest premise for a comic book movie, we start in 1944 Scotland. There are some devilish dealings going on between the Nazis and a Russian madman named Grigori ‘Ra-Ra!’ Rasputin (Roden, presumably the new Tim Curry, albeit with less panache) who are attempting to open a portal to the dark side and unleash…erm…Hell, I guess. A bright red baby demon gets through the portal but the evildoers (sorry, I had to use it, it was too precious) plans are foiled by professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt), personal psychic advisor to President Roosevelt (!), who snatches up the thorny little devil. He is dubbed Hellboy, and in an ironic spin, he becomes our best defender against the evil forces on Earth, working for the FBI’s secret Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense.

Cut to the present day and some modern Nazis (no, not Illinois Nazis, sadly) resurrect Rasputin and are set to unleash hell once again…or at least not stuff up like last time. It’s up to the now 20-ish Hellboy (Ron Perlman, nowhere near 20 but who cares?), the aging Professor (boy, does John Hurt look ancient here), and a band of misfit crime-fighters to bust a cap in Rasputin’s Boney-M ass.
This warped, gloriously demonic-looking comic book movie gets a major boost from the terrific performance by Ron Perlman in the title role, he’s an old hand at playing heavily made-up characters and all-round weirdos (I’ll always remember him best as the pathetic hunchback in The Name of the Rose). Here he’s wonderfully funny as the easily jealous, overly macho, and occasionally not very bright superhero. The scene where he drowns his sorrows in a milk and cookies rooftop heart-to-heart with a local kid is a scream. Also top-notch is the voice work by David Hyde Pierce as another ‘freak’, Abe Sapien, an aquatic telepath. Selma Blair and her heavy-lidded eyes and soft manner of speaking is well-cast as the fire-starting object of Hellboy’s affections (and they kind of make sense together, actually), though a subplot involving a potential love triangle between these two and Hurt’s newest recruit, a nondescript human FBI agent played by Rupert Evans does not work, aside from the aforementioned scene. Roden’s pretty good as Rasputin, if lacking in wicked humour, but his dangerous, knife-wielding Nazi colleague named Kroenen is even better, getting some of the film’s best moments (loved the cute nod to the “Ilsa” films, too, that only Grindhouse aficionados are likely to get).
At over two hours, it is far too lengthy, and yet it’s also an overly complicated, occasionally incoherent film as well. Perhaps in speeding things up by minimising the screen time focused on Hellboy’s backstory, some coherency was lost. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t confused at certain points in the film (especially in regards to the villains’ plans). I would’ve removed Evans entirely, explained the BPRD more clearly earlier on, and also further explain Rasputin’s plot. Admittedly, all this would be hard to do whilst keeping the running time down, so perhaps it’s just that I’ve seen too many superhero films lately (even Spider Man 2 and X Men 2 underwhelmed me a little).

I just didn’t get into this film as much as I would’ve liked (like Del Toro’s Blade 2, it’s a bit overrated), but it has some terrific moments  and gets better as it goes along, despite the length. Perlman fans, meanwhile, will be in heaven...or hell.