MASTERS OF HORROR SERIES 1 VOLUME 2 (2007)

During an interview with John Landis at Sitges 2004, he told me a little about the then-forthcoming Masters of Horror television series, which would see some of the finest filmmakers in the genre come together under the watchful eye of Mick Garris to do what they do best. Nearly two and a half years later, the show's second series is currently halfway through screening in the States, and season one's twelve installments are available on DVD. Volume one of the MOH DVD featured an eclectic range of material, from the superb 'Homecoming' by Joe Dante and John Carpenter's 'Cigarette Burns', to the frankly awful 'Chocolate' by Garris. So what about the second volume?

We kick off with 'Jenifer', Dario Argento's first contribution to the series, featuring the troubling story of a disfigured woman who displays a penchant for eating living creatures from cats to small children, as well as enchanting and then destroying the men who encounter her. One such man is police detective Frank Spivey whose encounter with Jennifer takes him to the edge of reason as he is drawn into a sickening relationship which quickly becomes out of control. As you would expect from Argento, there's some pretty harrowing moments in this one, with the Italian horror maestro combining some serious gore with alcoholism, sexual deviance, cannibalism and self loathing. However as the film progresses and Frank's downward spiral into the mire of life gathers pitiless momentum, Argento slows everything down as we limp towards the utterly predictable finale. Marks out of ten: Five
The second episode is 'Dance of the Dead', directed by Tobe Hooper. In a post apocalyptic America, the dead can be re-animated for a limited time; and one unprincipled club owner (played by Robert Englund) has gathered a collection of stiffs to entertain the inebriated masses at his venue, the aptly named Doom Room. When Peggy (Jessica Lowndes) visits the club with her new biker punk boyfriend (Jonathan Tucker) she discovers that one of the scantily clad female corpses being zapped by stun guns on stage is her long lost sister. Personally, I utterly hated this piece from start to finish; it's just so damned MTV with its quick fire editing and computer enhanced imagery, not to mention the miserable dirge of a soundtrack penned by ex-Smashing Pumpkin man Billy Corgan. There's nothing remotely interesting going on, apart from the occasionally amusing delivery from Englund. That said, his performance is just not enough to save the piece, as there's just nothing here to captivate the imagination or provoke excitement; but don't just take my word for it, watch it and see for yourself. Obviously some of Hooper's work stands at the very pinnacle of horror; sadly with 'Dance of the Dead', he has produced a movie which mimics the very worst of the genre. Marks out of ten: Two

Episode three is 'Imprint' by Takashi Miike, which, in classic Miike fashion, presents a dark collage of brutal and completely uncompromising filmmaking. The story follows Christopher (Billy Drago), an American journalist who travels to Japan in search of Komomo (Michie Itô), a prostitute he loved and subsequently abandoned. He eventually finds himself upon an isolated island populated by pimps and ladies of the night where he hires a room and requests the company of a woman (Youki Kudoh) for the evening before retiring. Christopher questions the disfigured lady about the location of Komomo and is eventually told the shocking story of torture and mutilation resulting in the death of the one he searches for. 'Imprint' was the one episode of the MOH series so far that failed to get past the censors, and in watching, it's easy to see why. The sequences featuring Komomo’s punishment are absolutely savage, to the point of being on a par with the sickening scenes of torture from Miike’s ‘Audition’, or indeed pretty much anything else he has done in his career. As a result, this one comes with a warning to the uninitiated; although featuring characters and subplots, it’s actually better described as another strange voyage into the mind of possibly the world’s most disturbing (and possibly most disturbed) filmmaker, which must have made the censors shit their pants when they saw it. When quizzed about the legal battles over this one during a press conference at Sitges, Joe Dante dryly remarked that the best way for the MOH series to avoid censorship and controversy was to not hire Takashi Miike. However, despite the relatively poor acting and questionable ending, ‘Imprint’ extends its middle finger to those who decide what we should or shouldn’t be allowed to see on TV; which is surely a major part of what a series like MOH should be all about. Marks out of ten: Eight
Next up is ‘Pick Me Up’ by Larry Cohen, director of the classic monster movie ‘Q-The Winged Serpent’. Cohen pits two serial killers against each other in an impromptu contest to see who can hunt down and kill a young woman who has become lost in the Canadian wilderness. Although relatively standard fare, which seems to be the norm for most chapters of the series, it does feature a superb performance from Michael Moriarty (who appeared in ‘The Stuff’) as Wheeler, a chain smoking truck driver with murder on his mind. Facing off against him is Walker (Warren Kole), a brutally sadistic and obsessive hitchhiker who yearns to skin everyone unfortunate enough to cross his path. And stuck in the middle of the carnage is Stacia (Fairuza Balk), who, for her part, seems to know more than her fair share about self-defence. Overall it’s a fair piece and one of the more entertaining episodes from the series, although, as is the case with many of the Masters of Horror entries I’ve seen, certainly nothing to get too excited about. Marks out of ten: five

Then we come to ‘Haeckel’s Tale’ by John McNaughton, the sinister mastermind behind the devastating ‘Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer’. Written in conjunction with George Romero and based on a Clive Barker story, the tale features a young man called Ernst Haeckel (Derek Cecil) who is studying the science of reanimating the dead. During a laboratory experiment, he is humiliated in front of his tutor and peers when his attempts to return life to a corpse, using a technique adapted from the research of Victor Frankenstein, goes wildly wrong and immolates the cadaver, much to the amusement of his God-fearing audience. Abandoning his studies to visit his dying father, Haeckel braves the barren countryside on foot, but is finally forced to seek shelter during a storm at the humble abode of a seemingly simple peasant (John Polito). A spanner is thrown into the works when he meets the peasant’s wife, a beautiful young woman who initially responds in kind to his foolish ardour, before becoming increasingly pre-occupied with the mausoleum outside her home as dusk settles. As the night progresses, a series of strange moans emanate from the graveyard, and the woman soon ventures forth in search of their source. Further time passes, before her voice joins in with a cacophony of cries, and Haeckel, convinced that he must intervene, heads into the graveyard against the dire warning of his host. As might be expected from such a triumvirate as McNaughton, Barker and Romero, ‘Haeckel’s Tale’ is a fine piece of episodic horror. Sure, it makes more than a nod in the direction of Hammer Horror productions, but this actually weighs in its favour. There’s a thoroughly enjoyable moment when the film briefly undergoes a transition from being an eighteenth century ‘science versus mysticism’ horror to a Romero zombie movie, which will bring a smile to the faces of all horror enthusiasts. Certainly the best entry in this volume two box set, and almost the outstanding episode of the entire mercurial first season, if not for Joe Dante’s ‘Homecoming’. Marks out of ten: Seven
Finally we come to 'The Fair Haired Child', William Malone's contribution to the series, which centres around abduction and demonic sacrifice. Tara (Lindsey Pulsipher) is a small town teenage girl who is kidnapped by a seemingly insane couple, Judith (Lori Petty) and Anton (William Samples). The pair imprison the girl in a dismal, dark building, and leave her to brood on her fate. As the period of her incarceration grows longer, Tara grows bolder and begins to resist, but nothing can prepare her for the fate that the couple have in store for her; she has been chosen as a blood sacrifice to an ancient evil beast. Again, not a bad piece but nothing here that isn't standard horror fare. Although becoming prominent in the horror genre after the release of 'Feardotcom' in 2002, Malone has a background straight out of episodic horror and television, and was involved in working on 'Freddy's Nightmares' and 'Tales From the Crypt'. This experience is evident in his Masters of Horror entry, but again, as personally I've found in many episodes of the first season, there's no real spark during proceedings. Marks out of ten: Five

Overall then, Masters of Horror Volume Two is quite similar in substance to volume one; it’s a very mixed bag, featuring the good, the bad and the simply forgettable. Some of the participants seem to have gotten things absolutely right, such as McNaughton and Miike, whereas one or two of the other shorts are particularly poor. Although Mick Garris’ concept of producing horror driven by forces other than that of Hollywood marketing executives can only be admired, perhaps providing some of the filmmakers with almost total laissez faire is, in retrospect, a mistake. And despite undoubtedly employing some of the greatest minds ever to commit images of terror to celluloid, some of them aptly illustrate here that they clearly lack the spark that made them ‘masters’ of the craft in the first place. In concluding then, this DVD boxed set is probably worth the purchase price for the Miike and McNaughton entries, and the Argento piece, ‘Jenifer’ whilst not particularly good, certainly makes an impression. There’s also a veritable feast of extras, ranging from interviews with the directors, biographies, stills, audio commentaries and screen savers galore, which give a real insider feel to the whole package. For my money though, I’d just like to see a little more invention in the series; as stated, the concept behind the series is nothing if not admirable, but realistically, Garris and co really do need to come up with a few original ideas. There’s very little on offer that wasn’t done twenty or thirty years ago (or longer) by ‘The Twilight Zone’ or ‘Tales From The Crypt’, and, in terms of episodic horror, was often done much better back then.