RAGING SHARKS (2005)

The title Raging Sharks really says it all folks? When you get ready to view a movie with such a title, you really shouldn't be expecting too much from it and, If anything the best you could hope is that the movie is so bad that it's actually entertaining in a sad, funny sort of way, like how most of Steven Seagal's direct-to-video entries are. Sadly, Raging Sharks is just plain awful in almost every way, shape, and form.
First off, the movie's major problem is that the sharks and the effects are just draw-droppingly awful. The stock footage that's used is a joke and the special effects used are a disgrace. It's strange because at times and at certain spots the movie does seem to have some decent production value, but then at other times there are just complete lapses and everything just comes off looking completely fake. The sharks make growling noises sounding more like drowning lions rather than aquatic predators. The editing is extremely shoddy with characters repeating certain lines when shot from a different angle. I'm not expecting the film to match the level of Jaws or even Deep Blue Sea, hell, I'm not even expecting it to be on the level of Jaws: The Revenge (which was pretty damn bad) but you have to give the viewer something to enjoy whether it be a funny character, gruesome violence, a decent story, or whatever you're going for. This movie really has nothing to keep you interested. It's very dull and uneventful and it was a struggle to keep my finger off the fast forward button through some segments.

Danny Lerner's direction, shot-wise anyway, is steady and clear, but when it comes to the action scenes he's woefully inept. The acting is horrible for the most part. There are some people with suitable talent in the cast like direct-to-video mainstay Corbin Bernsen, but this bunch just has absolutely nothing to work with in the movie. The story, for example is just a complete joke. Alien radioactive slime that makes passing sharks go insane? Get out of here! Where do people come up with this nonsense? Actually a better question is, where can I get a hold of the people who found such nonsense worthwhile enough to put money into it for a movie? Seriously where? Because I have a million ideas for you. Here's one that's just as ridiculous, it's called Poop Chair. It's about a mystical chair used by King Montezuma Of Mexico. A man in New Jersey comes across it in a dumpster and takes it home for his own personal use. After sitting in the chair only once the man can never stop defecating. If someone doesn't put a stop to him the entire world will become filled with crap. So it's up to a commando with no arms or legs and a blind stripper to save the world. And if that's not stupid enough for you I have a ton of other horrible ideas. I'll sell this one though for say, ten thousand dollars. The fact that people actually get paid to churn out trash like this is astonishing to me. It seems like 10 year olds are writing these films.
The DVD picture and sound transfer for Raging Sharks is better than the film deserves. The picture quality is excellent with no digital artifacts or blurs which you sometimes find with very low budget direct-to-video films. The sound was fine as well. All the horrible dialogue could be heard with crystal clarity. On the special features front there isn't much to see except for the Raging Sharks trailer. This is basically a bare bones DVD. That sort of saddens me too because it might have been fun to listen to a commentary by the cast and director. I'd like to see how they would try to talk about this movie as if it were something good and worthwhile. I wonder if they could pull it off with a straight face. I sure as hell couldn't.

As a child I loved shark attack movies and I would still love them if they made some good ones today. Raging Sharks comes nowhere close to being good. The only thing positive I can say for it is that the direction is steady and clear, and there are a couple of moments in the film that are so bad that you'll get a couple of big laughs, other than that I'd say to swim far, far away from this one.