I first heard about ‘Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation’ several months ago, when a friend excitedly announced that he had managed to procure it from an ‘unknown source’. Apparently it had been released straight to DVD, but no problem, such dubious distinction is often a badge of honour when the film in question is a low budget horror or B-movie flick. Indeed, I was always determined to approach ‘S.T.2’ with an open mind, recalling well that the first 30 minutes or so of Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 original arguably featured some of the worst dialogue and most wooden acting on celluloid. However, persistence was the key and as the film unfolded the sheer number of arachnids onscreen effortlessly eclipsed these flaws, not to mention the number of rounds fired.

So, on to the sequel. On a planet within the new ‘Quarantine Zone’ established around the arachnid star system, a small group of Mobile Infantrymen are ambushed and besieged by an even smaller number of arachnids (although here, the film clearly intends for the audience to use their imagination to increase the number of C.G.I. monsters attacking the cast). However, as well as being threatened by the roaming arachnids outside, the soldiers are being infected and taken over by tiny arachnid parasites that have infiltrated their base. Group dynamics become strained as no one knows who to trust (John Carpenter should have taken legal advice about such plagiarism) and the film plods along predictably with the occasional death or gratuitous sex scene.

Eventually the infected group of Infantrymen attempt to kill the others and I can also recall some decent gore towards the end. However, there isn’t really much more to say. No Paul Verhoeven, no decent actors, no big budget and ultimately no hope. I tried with Starship Troopers 2; I really did. But this is an awful, awful film. If anyone out there ever came across some of the trashy 80s sci-fi cash-ins such as the misleadingly titled ‘Alien Terminator’ (sounds great, doesn’t it?) or ‘Gremloids’ (I can’t remember release dates or directors, and frankly don’t want to), well, Starship Troopers 2 is worse.

To follow such a cool first movie with this sequel is nothing short of criminal, and is certain to condemn what could have been a fun, action packed sci fi license into oblivion, or even worse, a series of genuinely terrible follow ups. And if I’ve sounded a little self righteous at times here, you try watching the movie and writing a review that doesn’t turn into a diatribe of industrial language. At the end, Captain Dax (Richard Burgi) the proud hero says, “Shed no tears for me, my glory lives forever”. I don’t think so Captain