Plot
Deep in the mountains of Carpathia lies the mysterious and mythic land of Transylvania--a world where evil is ever-present, where danger rises as the sun sets, and where the monsters that inhabit man's deepest nightmares take form.
Analysis
It becomes apparent that the child hood of Stephen Sommers, Director of the 2004 Spring time blockbusting monster movie 'Van Helsing', must have been spent partially hiding under the nearest blanket, cushion or table with one eye firmly hidden whilst the other was glued to a blurry black and white image flashing across an old television screen. Thanks to Universal pictures in the early 1930's, a whole generation of children were scared whittles at the site of Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and (later down the line) the Wolf man rampaging through remote villages killing the innocent and making buxom village lasses scream like banshees. Whilst I'm not claiming that Sommers caught these films the first time around (he was born in 1962 after all) it is obvious even to the most casual of onlookers that these early horror films are the inspiration for this all new outing that takes the best of current technologies and mixes it with a sexy cast to bring us the monster equivalent of tag team wrestling. The Wolf man, Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula and Mr Hyde against little old Van Helsing, LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE...............
On seeing the plot synopsis for Van Helsing many months ago I raised my eyes to the heavens and wondered just how much more preposterous the movie world could get. We are now entering the phase where one creature of the night is no longer enough to keep the viewer occupied. 'Freddy vs Jason', 'Alien vs Predator, and now Universal Studio's early horror stable against Van Helsing. Sounds crap doesn't it. Well, always happy to be the bearer of good news, this is far from crap, in fact almost going to the other end of the scale and having the audacity to actually be rather good. The pace of the film is without doubt a true roller coaster ride of breath taking visuals with the odd pregnant pause preparing the ocular muscles for another increase in blistering action even more intense than the one before. The visual flare that is on display here will leave you pretty empty on the inside but will inject you with a fix of action crack that will help the running time fly by.
Industrial Light and Magic, who have created all the visual digital effects for the film, have achieved a company career high as far as the computer aided sequences go with some of the most outstanding visual sequences depicting the battle between creature and human that I think I have ever seen up to this point in my pointless little existence. From the fight with Mr Hyde in the bell tower at the commencement of the film to the first onscreen werewolf transformation and on to the climatic confrontation between Van Helsing and Dracula, the eye candy never fails to impress.
The cast have little to do as far as flexing their acting muscle but the rugged looks of Jackman combined with the smoldering Beckinsale make a nice combination even if they do appear a little out of sorts in the squelching mud of Transylvania. Both leads have played much stronger and more memorable roles in the past but with a screenplay that ensures that the monsters are the stars on the show, I came out remembering more about the performances of Dracula's three brides rather than the high rollers.
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Rating (out of 5)
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Action
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This film isn't about it's horror any more than 'The Mummy' was about archeology. It's the breath taking action sequences that will leave you little time to gather your battered senses before the next onslaught of creature mashing begins. If you remember only one thing from this review let it be that the action alone is enough to make this movie worth watching again and again.
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Tension
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The tension mainly surrounds the fabulous action sequences but the films monstrous encounters crank up the atmosphere with several eerie lulls that lead up to the now obligatory sudden-jump moment.
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Violence/
Gore
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Just like the classic horror films that this movie pays homage to, the gore is extremely low and the violence is part of the titanic monster stomping rather than gratuitously graphic.
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Bare Flesh
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None
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Despite the teasing of those damn sexy vampires, we get nothing more than a heaving bosom or two.
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Plot
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The plot is as thick as Stephen Hawkins and as heavy as Kate Moss. "Monsters need to be killed in Transylvania so off you pop Mr Helsing", that's about your lot for the story.
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Verdict
Shallow is a word that can be fairly leveled at this pointless piece of action/horror. It takes you on a fantastical roller coaster journey that will throw you out of your seat during the constant highs but soon becomes clear that the ride is on rails that finally end at the same place you got on. Is it worth seeing, for sure if only to watch the succulent action, but don't expect depth to this materialistic horror homage.
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Facts, figures and boobs
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1.
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While the film is an homage to the 1930s and '40s Universal Monster horror films, the inclusion of Mr. Hyde is an oddity, as he was never one of the Universal Monster roster. Instead, the films based on Hyde during that time were made for Universal's rival MGM.
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2.
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During filming, Hugh Jackman accidentally broke an extra's hand.
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3.
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The opening sequence follows, shot for shot, the original sequence from 'Frankenstein' (1931), right up until Dracula shows up to talk with Viktor.
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4.
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Dr. Frankenstein's lab was equipped with "antique medical equipment" purchased on E-bay.
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Movie Pictures
(Click picture to enlarge)
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| What other people thought of this film: - |
| V The Happylurker |
Oh come on! For a cheesy action flick disguised as a horror movie, it was good. I'm agreeing that a 9 is a bit much, but it still wasn't that bad. In fact, I'd say VH was good because it was bad. This is a film that you need to watch with tongue firmly in cheek.
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| Alex |
This film was crap, how can you give it 9? and LOTR 8?? more like 7 (and this is purely for the effects?) the acting was wooden from A list actor(s)(esses), dracula was completely unscary. I was expecting to hear 'pay attention 007 in the gadget section'. Vaughan get a grip youth, the best bit was the titles at the end, it meant i could stop wasting my life...!
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| Stu the Reviewer |
9 - Vaughan, what are you on??? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the film, but 9. Come on man. Shallow doesn't cover it - arid would be more accurate. The effects were great and the cheesy homage to the good old days was greatly appreciated, but 9! I would have given it a 7, because ultimately it left me feeling unfulfilled.
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