WOMENS PRISON MASSACRE (1983)

Laura Gemser (fully clothed, sadly) plays Emanuelle who is thrown behind bars when she attempts to get the dirt on an unscrupulous politician (isn't that somewhat of a redundant term?), in an awkward subplot. There she finds herself amidst lesbians who bonk in the shower in front of everyone (and why not?), blow-up sex dolls, brutal prison staff, and loony albinos who wear seriously unconvincing wigs. After this initial and somewhat stock set-up, the film introduces a group of male convicts (led by Gabriele Tinti, and generally played as a bunch of lecherous goofballs) who are sent to the women's prison temporarily, awaiting execution. Not surprisingly, the men seize an opportunity to take over the prison and thus the massacre begins.
I don't usually rant and rave about cut versions of films, and maybe I'm becoming jaded and this really is the fully uncut version of Women's Prison Massacre, but I doubt it. Most of the sex scenes appear to be cut though strangely, it's mostly the lesbian content (What kind of sick person would do that to poor, innocent lesbians?). Even the violence, whilst still sometimes graphic, seems awkwardly chopped. The infamous razor-in-the-crotch moment, for instance, seemed cut to me, though perhaps it's the very idea of this scene that has earned its reputation. I don't understand how a company like Shock-O-Rama, hardly the epitome of good clean fun, could take a film from the 1980s and re-release it now, but in a seemingly cut form. Mind you, there is a rather nasty bite to the neck at one point. Lovely stuff.

Still, there's fun to be had here, including some of the worst dubbing I've ever seen, and a side-splittingly inept sex scene involving an albino chick that seems to have had no choreography at all. The film does delivers all the requirements of a WIP flick and even adds a few new surprises like an arm wrestle between rival female prisoners, It's inexplicably funny stuff. The first half, in particular, is quite enjoyable (the male prisoners just aren't interesting), and the striking Laura Gemser (think of a sleeker Pam Grier meets Pocahontas) is one of the best actresses in these sorts of films, and has a definite screen presence. The director seems to have a certain visual flair,unusual to exploitation films, with the somewhat avant-garde opening scene in particular reminding me of a certain scene from Chicago. It's an enjoyable piece of schlock, and the very idea of a razor blade stuck inside a woman's genitalia, well, it's certainly a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
The DVD itself is minimalist, with some Retro Shock-o-Rama trailers, essentially the same as one can find on their release of The Devil's Plaything. These include Slime City, seemingly a blatant rip-off of Troma's Toxic Avenger (or vice versa), and it just looks repugnant. Satan's Black Wedding features an hilariously ponderous voiceover, and looks horribly bad, but in that special, wonderful way. Criminally Insane concerns a loony fat lady with a meat cleaver, and hey, that's a lot of people's idea of a good time.