SHADOW: DEAD RIOT (2006)

I've always held a special place in my heart for women in prison exploitation films. Yes they're sexist, yes they're mindless, and yes they're usually awful and border on being pornography, but they're women in prison. There's something wonderful about a group of beautiful ladies beating the hell out of one another before getting down to some soapy shower action. Sometimes when I watch these movies I picture myself as being the evil prison warden and I...ahem...getting a little too carried away, sorry. Shadow: Dead Riot is at heart, a women in prison picture. It also tries to be a zombie movie and an over-the-top action film. Unfortunately it fails miserably at everything it tries to attain.
First off, any movie of this sort needs a heavy dose of beautiful naked women. There are some here, but not nearly enough. Call me a pervert, which I'm sure many ladies will after this review, but I feel that all the women in this sort of movie should be constantly naked. I mean, let's get real here folks. We all know that the audience for this type of film consists mainly of males, and we all know that they're looking for pretty much one thing, and it's definitely not a story. So why the facade? Why bother to pretend there's a meaningful story in such a movie. If I were to make such a film it would be called Naked Monster-Lady Prison. There would be no guys in the movie at all, and come to think of it, I wouldn't allow any guys on the set either, except for myself of course. The cast would be filled with all sorts of beautiful women and they would be constantly naked in the film and that goes for the female guards as well. So you know who's who, the guards will wear red bandanas and the inmates can wear blue ones. The first hour would take place during the daytime and all the women would be constantly fighting and rolling on the ground. Then the last half hour would take place at night where all the women turn into different monsters and they all kill each other. After that, they all revert back to their naked, beautiful female form. The end. It may make no sense, but I guarantee that guys would love it and demand a sequel.

The actual story for Shadow: Dead Riot is a bore. Tony Todd plays a mass murderer named Shadow who is about to be executed in a hideously pathetic dreadlocks-wig (now that's a crime). Stuff goes wrong and he dies and then possesses the inmates of the prison who turn into insane monster/zombies and revolt. Flash forward to the present and the prison has turned into an experimental correction facility for women. Needless to say more things go wrong and after a while Shadow and his retarded inmate zombie buddies come back to kill all the pretty ladies. Their only hope is a tough inmate named Solitaire, played by Carla Greene who shows some acting capabilities at times. Speaking of acting why the hell did Tony Todd decide to take this part. I know he's been in about 100 movies or more, but seriously. He was so good and creepy in Candyman. He's a good actor and he deserves better roles.
There's a couple of sexy scenes here and there but not as many you would think or hope for. There are some really lovely ladies like Moet Meira, horror chic Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundae), and some others but they're talents are for the most part wasted. The fights try to emulate kung-fu but are pretty bad. When the characters speak you might as well hit the mute button because it's all nonsense. The only sounds that should be heard in movies like these are women moaning in pleasure or screaming in agony, or a combination of the two. The films direction is very poor at times and there's lot's of quick cutting to hide how awful everything looks. The blood and gore effects suck, but some of the monster's are pretty effective.

Shadow: Dead Riot just doesn't deliver. If you're into women in prison films go watch some of the Ilsa movies or Caged Heat or even Caged Heat II. Bamboo House Of Dolls and The Big Doll House are also more worthwhile entries into the genre. And if those don't satiate you then you probably need to go to the adult section in your local video store.